Hey, I Am Back Again

After abandoned my previous blog months ago, I decided to come back.

Well, life hasn't changed much, at least for me. There is always ups and downs, and lack of sleeps definitely.

This year will be the fourth year since I become CEO of Domestic Affair - self-titled homemaker or C9 (si nai in Cantonese). Someone asked me if I am BORED with the role - elephant title, no pay and buffalo job. Aah..... that Q got me thinking, in fact, the answer is Yes and No.

It was difficult to make the decision at that time and I was struggling a year leading to the day I called it quit. To give up a job and personal income equal to give up financial freedom and independance, plus the adjustment of 'glamour' to 'casual' image.

Let's put this way, imagine I put on face makeup, wearing 3-piece suits mopping the floor, the Estee Lauder colour of my face will smear in no time after the vigorous 'workout', make me look more scary than an Chinese opera singer. Not that I am now a 'siaw cha bo' wearing baggy T-shirt and old pair of short at home but the chances of me wearing the 'power suit' are very slim. Going pasar with that? Err.......I think I will end up paying higher than what I am paying for now.

Furthermore, I have to give up indulgence like eating at fancy restaurants during lunch time with colleagues, no more company dinners and entertainments. My the other half does not hold the position of CEO of any company so there is no fat pay check.

Babysitter - since I am 'sitting' at home and to save $$$, the kids have since staying at home. Over the four years, they have grown from babbling toddler to school going kids who comes up 101 genius excuses everytime I question their mischievous action. (If I would know they will turn out to be like this I may have aborted my idea of being a homemaker!)

I joined the C9 group because of stressful work, demanding boss, most importantly, I found hard to juggle role of a mother and worker, and the guilt of leaving kids at their BBsitter home till I am back from work after 8pm. I was tired and exhausted, I didn't have anymore patience and time for them too.

Back to the question whether I started to feel bored as homemaker, yes, I am. Managing the home is all about the same chores, routine that either do it now or later. Discipline the kids is the biggest stress I have, their behavior, fighting, school homework.

And NO. I have more freedom to do what I want and flexibility compared to when I was tight up with the 9 - 5 of the office hour. I am not having a lot of 'my time' now either but I got to do things within my reach. I got to witness the milestones of my kids growing up years (yes, they do make me laugh sometimes!), something that I would have missed if I always away. I am the one guiding and mould who they become at my best ability, not leaving them to caregiver or maids. Hah, talking about maid, l will have more stories to share next time.

For the past few months, I start feeling restless. Kids are growing up and schooling, this means they are less dependent on me. The idea of going back to rat race isn't so appealing to me, for I have enjoyed the flexibility in the past four years. There is another option - to start a small business. Um.....Wish me luck.